Looking Back, Moving Forward

When I think about what I've done this year, I think about the struggle I've had with time management and prioritizing. There were several things that I devoted a lot of time to, such as biology, and things that I didn't devote enough time to, like everything else. Next semester I hope to balance out what I'm doing and spend more time studying for larger-than-life tests than I do trying to figure out the answer to a trivial homework problem. At the same time, I have to make time to go to church, hang out with my friends, and spend time with my family. In the coming weeks and months I hope to manage my time better, spend more time doing what truly matters, and becoming the person that I want to be.

Forgiven

There is never a time when forgiveness is not deserved. That's much easier to say than to put into practice. No matter how much wrong someone has done to us, there is never a good reason not to forgive them. First of all, if you do something wrong, you want forgiveness. No matter how horrible someone is, they want the same as you. Ultimately, it comes down to the fact that God forgives us much more than we could ever deserve, and if we're striving to be like God, the same is true for us. Despite conflict and disputes with friends, family, God, and myself, I've had to find forgiveness in myself because I know that is the only way I'll be able to move on and grow because of the situation.

The Crucible: Play vs. Movie

There are definitely some differences between how I interpreted The Crucible while reading it and how it was portrayed on film. First of all, the plot sequence was completely different. I liked the sequence in the book better because it was easier to understand Abigail when we learn of the truth of what happened in the forest early in the reading. I also liked understanding the relationship between John Proctor, Goody Proctor, and Abigail prior to seeing John and Elizabeth Proctor together. Secondly, I like some characters in the book better than how they are depicted in the movie. I feel like Goody Putnam is portrayed more like a psychotic person than someone overcome with witchcraft hysteria in the movie. I also think that Reverend Parris is shown to be far more violent than what I imagined while reading. I think he should be more prideful than hostile. However, I liked the way Rebecca Nurse and John Proctor were shown in the movie. The setting in both the movie and are very similar.

Wherever I'm with You

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros recently released the duet, "Home," which says, " Home is wherever I'm with you." I think the song between the couple captures the essence of home. When I think about my home I don't imagine a brick structure where I store my stuff, but rather, a place where I am loved by people I love. Anywhere this feeling exists is home. Whether I'm sitting on my couch, taking notes in class, singing down the interstate, or backpacking in a foreign country, I can be home. However, I know that my truest roots lie in Old Hickory, Tennessee. I feel at home when I hear even the worst of redneck dialects or country music playing in the background. I feel at home when I drive down Lebanon Road (which I travel a minimum of 28 times a week) with my friends hysterically laughing as we sing and dance (though we aren't all that talented) to whatever song we have the radio blasting. I feel at home when I'm stuck in Sunday morning traffic. Most of all, I feel at home when I'm with the friends and family I love the most, because the structure, shelter, and warmth they provide far exceeds anything that my house has ever offered me. So, whoever your "you" is, whether it be your friend, your parent, your love, or your God, I hope you find them, because without a home, you're stuck in the cold.

Practice Makes Perfect

Practicing for ACT testing is always a growing experience. I especially liked looking at the answers and being able to see what I missed and learn why I missed it. My results weren't bad but I'm determined to improve until I can get a perfect score, especially since my math and science scores are never as high. The biggest problem I have with testing is that I tend to lose focus or I don't thoroughly read the question. I hope I can develop the ability to focus on the complete question and be able to choose the best answer.

Inexpressible Joy

When it comes to being a person of faith, I would like to say that I'm always faithful to God, but that wouldn't be true. I try my best to follow the statues that God has established for me, because I know that's what's best for me, but I still oftentimes fall into the world's hands rather than holding to God's. My relationship with God grows every day, and I hope that I never become satisfied with it. Like all relationships, mistakes are made, there are problems with communicating, and conflict. All of these problems are my fault, but sometimes I feel like God should take the blame. God is continually teaching me and he strengthens my faith even through doubts and questions. I continually remind myself of one of my favorite verses, 1 Peter 1:8, "Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory.."

On The Ground

On the Ground is a blog written by New York Times human rights journalist, Nicholas D. Kristof.  His articles primarily focus on women's rights, international conflict, and poverty. He protests injustice to those in underdeveloped nations, particularly in Sudan, The Democratic Republic of Congo, Afghanistan, and Southeast Asia. He also protests a lack of action taken by developed nations, especially the United States, with articles like Obama and the Mess in Sudan. His perspective comes from years spent in the field and he is determined to share his experiences and understand the world outside suburban America. Whether it be Facebook Protests in Pakistan or Famine in Niger, Kristof gives first-hand accounts of life in underdeveloped nations, telling the world about the hardships they face and how they can be prevented. He's also popular for writing the book Half the Sky, which depicts the harsh reality of women's rights throughout the world.

Life is a Thread

In the movie Amazing Grace, Oloudaqh Equiano, an ex-slave, says, "Your life is a thread. It breaks, or it doesn't break." The movie, which we are using as an introduction to Equiano's autobiography, depicts the lives of those who fought to abolish slavery in England. Their lives were much like the threads Equiano mentioned. They were stretched to their maximum limits and were constantly harassed, but refused to break. People like Equiano, William Wilberforce, and Thomas Clarkson were pressured to forget their goals, but they only worked harder to show the world the immorality of slave trade. William Pitt later asks Wilberforce, "Why is it that you only feel the thorns in your feet when you stop running?" He was metaphorically saying that he only realizes the true difficulty of his work when he stops working and gets distracted by the things around him. This tells me that even when my life is stretched beyond what I feel I can bear, if I keep working toward my goal and toward what is right, I can overcome all the pain and obstacles to achieve it.

Walking by Faith...

Most people find greater security in walking by sight. They live in such a way that everything in their world is secure. There is no uncertainty in their future because it is part of their manmade plan. However, I propose that it is far safer and more secure to walk by faith. Humans, their plans, and their choices are flawed. However, God makes no mistakes. God's invisible power is far more stable than the most concrete of things on earth. I would much rather put my life in the hands of an omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient being than risk everything by trying to take care of it myself, and inevitably ruin it with what I think is right. Everything about my future relies on me relying on these unseen things. They allow me to make all of my choices and guide me in the path that is best for the life I lead for God.

Foreign and Familiar

When it comes to the foreign places I've been to, the list could be extensive. There's Sidney, Montana (The Land of Endless Sheep), Graceland (The Jungle Room), and my closet. Though these places may seem to be some of the utmost exotic, the most foreign place I've ever been is Macuelizo, Honduras (technically it's Las Varas, Macuelizo, San Padre, Honduras or something like that).

Everything there seemed foreign to me. I could speak little of the language, the culture was different, and housing, if you can call it that, was less than stellar.  Living in houses made of scrap metal is commonplace in Macuelizo, as is letting your chickens, dogs, and horses run wild in the street. Drivers view any road rules as light suggestions and the local marketplace was far from my Hermitage Walmart.  National police marched down the streets carrying guns and patrolling areas for drug cartels and human traffickers. Ironically, one of the strangest things I experienced there was the attitude of love and contentment shown by everyone.

Despite the absolute foreignness of the area, much of it was also very familiar. We had an undeniable connection with those we ministered to because of our faith in the powerful love of our God. Our group kept repeating Luke 1:37 to ourselves, "...for nothing is impossible with God." We knew that it was not impossible for us to communicate God's love to people despite cultural and language barriers. We knew that it was not impossible for the children of Macuelizo to overcome the seemingly endless adversity and obstactles to lead their communities to education, development, and God. We knew it was not impossible for God to use us to touch these people, even in the places farthest to reach.

The Glass Menagerie

The Glass Menagerie is a story of a family that is trapped in an endless cycle of heartbreak and hardship. The pictures of the Great Depression depict their time period and a view at their everyday life of drear and hopelessness. Despite this, they hold on to their optimism by seeing an escape from their way of life. When the characters look for the brightness in their future, they are often depicted on the fire escape, just outside the house waiting to get out. Tom's dream is to be in the military, but he also has a passion for writing, which also gives him an emotional escape. Laura hopes for love, much like she thinks she had with Jim, the boy who called her "Blue Roses." Laura clings to her glass menagerie, a representation of their dreams, which are fragile treasures in the hands of the world, and she especially loves the uniqueness of the unicorn. The soundtrack, "One Headlight" by The Wallflowers, describes a man's battle to understand his position in a place he dislikes because it suppresses his potential. Tom feels much the same way as he tries to find a better life for himself.

New Year, New Mindset

Yesterday's prayer-themed chapel was a great way to start off this year with a godly mindset. My group didn't spend as much time praying as we did discussing how we plan to glorify God throughout the upcoming year. My group, led by Allie Owen, went around to each individual and talked about how we like to spend our time. We talked about how we can use all of our hobbies to glorify God and show others that Christ is deeply involved in our lives. Many of us read some Scripture, which reminds us of God's presence in our daily lives. I loved that we could apply the lesson to each individual, rather than saying something vague that doesn't necessarily apply to everyone. I know that God brought each person into that group so that we could be uplifted by each other. At the end of the lesson Paul Teller led us in prayer and he prayed that we could all be united to working for God, the Creator, and that he could create a new zeal for each other, our school, and Christ. I think God has already created something new at DCA based on the experience that many had yesterday, and I hope he continues to bless us with physical and spiritual restoration.

Introducing Me

Who am I? What makes me happy? What's my purpose? These are all questions that I must answer every day, and the answers change often. My life is not something that can be put into words without doing an injustice to reality (I usually exaggerate the positive & underestimate the negative), but this is my blog, so I'll do what I want.
I strive to be able to say that my life is defined by Christ and glorifying him. He has gifted me with opportunities that I could have never taken advantage of without him. He blessed me with an incredible church family that ceaselessly loves, motivates, and supports me.Through life-changing programs I realized my love for evangleism and service, which I hope to share with the world for the rest of my life. My youth group is comprised of my best friends who have provided me with the best, worst, hardest, funniest, most embarrassing, most exhilirating, most disgusting, most inspiring moments of my life. My awesome DCA family has provided me with 13 years of opportunities to excel in all aspects of life. Experiences like trips to Honduras, leading a girls' bible study, being involved with drama, and finding some of  my greatest friends (students and faculty alike) have molded my approach to everything I do. Equally influential has been my spectacular biological family, who has never put an obstacle in the way of  doing anything that I truly love, even when that means that they have to eat my disgusting attempt at a Moroccan meal or tolerate my borderline obsession with obscure indie rock.
These three families have shaped my life in ways only explainable by God. They help me to see that I already have the answer to those three questions. Christ brings me "inexpressible joy" (1 Peter 1:8) and purpose. He placed these people in my life to help me fulfill his will for my life and to lead a life that's way more fun and exciting than pretty much anyone else's...except maybe the guy from the Dos Equis commercials.